A guide for anyone touched by dementia during the holidays
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, … but is it really?? Sometimes holidays leave us feeling stressed, overwhelmed, disappointed, and burnt out by the time it's over.
And when you have a parent, grandparent or spouse with dementia, the hype can bring on a brand-new set of challenges. It’s often easy to overdo it, too. (I'm cooking this from scratch!)
Here are some practical tips to help keep the "happy" in your holidays.
Try these:
Avoid overscheduling: Do you say yes (and sometimes overcommit) to avoid disappointing people? Or feel guilty declining invites? Be patient with yourself. Consider what you can handle without feeling overwhelmed and be honest with people. Be open to adapting your plans, putting your well-being and comfort of your loved ones first. You can plan to meet up after the holiday as an alternative. You might be surprised how many people understand, as they can also feel pressured, too. 😊
Embrace what’s familiar: For people with Alzheimer's and other dementias, what’s familiar can be especially important and meaningful. Consider adding cherished traditions and routines into your plans. Whether it's a favourite movie, a familiar recipe, or a decoration from the olden days, these familiar things provide a sense of comfort.
Simplify your get-togethers: Large groups, multiple conversations and background noise can be overwhelming for a person with Alzheimer's or other dementias. Consider having smaller gatherings and shorter timeframes to avoid sensory overload. Choose a time when people often feel their best (i.e., Are they really a night owl? Are you?) Have a backup plan in case anyone feels anxious or distressed, so you're prepared.
Host socials at home to reduce your travel time, removing things like traffic and weather (hello, polar vortex) from your list. If you’re not excited about cooking and cleaning, leave the cooking to someone else. There are so many take-out and catering options available. Ask a friend for help with cleaning or decorating.
Local supermarkets offer to-go meals and food delivery. Or make cooking a relaxed and enjoyable group activity where everyone can pitch in and support you. Potlucks are usually a hit. You can also opt for a night of dining out.
Have open conversations: The holidays are about connecting with the people you love, and the ones who love you. Do your best to be open about what’s going on in your life. Sometimes we tiptoe around issues and stick to the small talk. Use this time to share your day-to-day challenges with family and friends. It's an opportunity for them to learn, understand and support you, and a chance to ask for help where you need it most.
Gifting without the hassle: Get creative with ways to give and stick to a manageable budget. Shop online, send money, or ask people to pick up items while they’re out. If all else fails, consider re-gifting items you may have tucked away in storage. (Just make sure you’re not re-gifting to the person who originally gave it to you! LOL)
Put yourself first: It’s that age-old advice, ‘put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.’ Take short breaks, get support from friends and family, and do activities that fill your cup. Try not to isolate yourself. Did you know that connecting with others is great for your brain health, too?
Move around: This can include activities like dancing, going for walks, playing pickleball, or doing yoga. Do what makes you happy. Your movement reduces stress levels and increases endorphins. It also reduces your risk of major health issues.
Focus on the ‘present’: Pun intended. Aim to create moments of joy instead of entire weekends, days or long evenings. Take photos and videos and capture those memories to cherish in the future.
While caring for someone living with Alzheimer's disease or other dementias can present challenges, there are still ways to keep the "happy" in your holidays this year.
If you need extra support or have questions, please reach out for free support at Alzheimer Calgary at 403-290-0110 or findsupport@alzheimercalgary.ca
Talk to someone local who gets it
Check out some fantastic workshops coming up
